12 Days of Healing – Day 5

When’s the last time you had a truly pleasurable experience? A moment that you walked away from feeling high on life, an encounter that made you laugh until your stomach hurt, an instance where you couldn’t contain your excitement, or felt a sensory overload. We deprive ourselves of so much potential pleasure. We spend our lives distracted with clutter instead of focusing on what truly makes us feel happy and alive. Why?

Take five minutes to imagine a life where every day you committed to giving yourself a truly pleasurable experience. Can you imagine how much happier you might feel? How much more satisfying would life be? What would you be doing? Write down 7 things that give you pleasure.

Day 5 Goal: This is our next challenge. For the next 7 days, I challenge you to commit to having a pleasurable experience EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE WEEK. Commit to indulging in what truly makes you happy. If you can, try to write about it after, really acknowledge how it made you feel. Are you happier? More peaceful? What affect does pleasure have on your life? Do you feel more alive? Let’s find out!

Please write questions, comments, or feelings on the piece/assignments below! I welcome all feedback.

Advertisements

12 Days of Healing – Day 4

What is home to you? It’s important for us all to have a home base, somewhere that we can re-center ourselves. Let’s start with the basics: Do you have a physical space in the world that feels like home to you? Somewhere that you can be yourself, somewhere you feel safe, somewhere you feel relaxed? This is what home feels like.

Some people live their whole lives feeling out of place everywhere, like they have no home, no safe space. If that sounds like you, I challenge you to find a home this week. It doesn’t have to be an actual house, or even somewhere you can sleep; it just needs to be somewhere you feel safe and grounded.

If you’re struggling to find this place, take a moment to think of the last time you truly felt peaceful, the last place where you seemed to forget about your phone and all your worries. Where were you? Could that be home for you?

Or maybe you were with someone. I don’t advise making homes out of humans, but sometimes the people close to us really do feel like home; a safe place to bear our souls, shed our tears, and release our egos. If your home is a person, I still encourage you to find a place, but I also challenge you to tell that person why they feel like home to you and thank them for being your safe place.

A home base should never be taken for granted, it is our center, our peace, our stillness, our shelter. May you all find the perfect home 💚.

Day 4 Goal: Find a place to call home. Reflect on how this place makes you feel and why you think it makes you feel that way.

 

 

Please write questions, comments, or feelings on the piece/assignments below! I welcome all feedback.

12 Days of Healing – Day 3

Once we know and acknowledge our worth, we must begin to communicate it to others in a healthy manner. Do you set standards for your relationships? Do you set boundaries? Are you prepared to walk away from situations and people that don’t serve you?

Communicating your worth is a key part of building healthy relationships. It does not mean boasting about yourself, it simply means acknowledging your desire to be respected and appreciated. With friends, acquaintances, family, and lovers, we have to be clear about how we would like to be treated. Once you express your expectations, people will either rise to your expectations or they will not. If you find that a person is unwilling to value you and treat you with care and respect, then you must be prepared to disengage with that person on a personal level.

What you may find when you are clear about your expectations, is that people are surprisingly willing to rise to them! For those that don’t, it will be clear that they do not have a positive role to play in your life, and it will become easier to disengage as you realize that it’s for the betterment of your life.

Day 3 Goal: Going forward, make an effort to set clear expectations for how you would like to be treated in your new relationships. For existing relationships, address issues head on as they arise and be clear about where/how you feel undervalued. If you do not see a positive change in your relationships, start re-evaluating the need for them.

Please write questions, comments, or feelings on the piece/assignments below! I welcome all feedback.

12 Days of Healing – Day 2

Do you know your worth? Are you clear on your values? Not having an answer to these questions can make it difficult to get what you want out of life.

It’s important for us to have self-worth so that we can be aware of what we need to remove from our lives. When you understand what you deserve and how you should be treated, you set a standard for the people you allow into your life. So what are you worth? Write down everything you bring to the table, everything that makes you an asset to others. Write down all that you love about yourself. Going forward, know that the best people for you will see the best qualities in you. Anyone who doesn’t is bringing an energy into your life that you do not need long-term.

Next step, what are your values? Throughout our lives, our values change…but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have any. What are your boundaries? What do you put your energy towards? What are your priorities? What do you stand for? These things are your values. Anyone who does not respect these things about you, is another person you do not need in your life. Any time you aren’t standing for what you claim you stand for, is a time where you need to re-evaluate your values and check yourself.

Day 2 Goal: Do a full evaluation of your self-worth and values. Map out the people and the situations in your life that align with your worth and values. For the people and situations that don’t align, make an action plan for how you will address it (i.e. Letting that person go, leaving that job, having a healthy conversation about your boundaries, creating rules…whatever applies).

Please write questions, comments, or feelings on the piece/assignments below! I welcome all feedback.

12 Days of Healing – Day 1

The first step of healing is getting clear on who you are and who you want to be. Do you know yourself? Have you spent time getting to know yourself? Let’s start here.

Flaws and all, you MUST know yourself. Take some time to write down all your strengths and all your weaknesses (meditate on it if you’re having trouble). Let’s focus on your weaknesses first. Some weaknesses can turn into strengths when the characteristic is expressed in moderation. What negative characteristics do you need to discard completely? What negative characteristics can you flip into positives?

What key experiences make you who you are? We all have moments in our life that change us and shape our beliefs. Whether they are positive or negative and painful, we must acknowledge them. We cannot be truthful and authentic in the world if we are not truthful and authentic with ourselves. Acknowledge your key experiences, spend time thinking about and reflecting on them.

Now that you have examined your present self and past self, you can move forward. First, we must recognize our own light. What is your bright spot (Your talent, your uniqueness, your gift to offer to the world)? Are you blocking your own light?

Day 1 Goal: Write down 3 steps you can take to allow yourself to shine. Shining simply means you are putting your authentic self out into the world and allowing others to recognize the same strengths you see in yourself. It means putting yourself in situations and taking opportunities that naturally bring out the best of you. Spend this week genuinely shining!

deepest fear

Please write questions, comments, or feelings on the Day 1 piece/assignments below! I welcome all feedback.

12 Days of Healing

Hello again! It’s been a few years. In a lot of ways, I am the same woman who wrote those posts in 2015 —I’ve just learned to manage things better. But anyway, let’s get to the point.

I have always had a passion for helping people, listening to their problems, helping them find solutions or just reassuring them to make them feel better. This is a strong desire within me and I am finally going to do something about it. As I return back to the blog world, I want to start a journey of healing. I hope you will all join me for my next 12 posts which will be focusing on how we can all better our lives in every aspect; personally, romantically professionally, spiritually, and friendly.

I want this to be an interactive experience; so I welcome all questions, comments, suggestions, and discussions. Here we go!

 

Overwhelmingly Underwhelmed

This is my way of admitting that I am unhappy. Now, maybe its my generally positive mindset, but I hate to call myself “unhappy,” so I figured the best description of my current state was “overwhelmingly underwhelmed.” Hmm…or maybe I’m overwhelmingly overwhelmed…I’m not really sure, I just confused myself. Let me explain…

This time a year ago, I could not believe that I was still at my job making little to no money. I felt like I was falling behind my peers and all I needed was a new “big girl job.” Now, here I am a year later with my “big girl job,” great right?!…Not so much, the thing is, working from 9-3, 10 minutes away from my house, with people I liked made me happy. Sure, I make over double my last salary, but I work way more, I live way further, and I can’t help but feel like I don’t really belong here. I realized the other day that money does not motivate me. I thought that money would make me happy, but it really doesn’t. Problem one.

Problem two….Two years ago, I had all the friends I needed. I had people who understood me, who I could be myself with, people who made me laugh, people who felt like family. Now, I have moved across the country to a place where I just don’t connect with people the same way. I have made attempts to reconnect with old friends but look…old friends are old friends for a reason. Our lives are moving in such different directions that finding common ground takes way more than effort…and I just don’t have that effort in me. Maybe I should make new friends. Do you know how hard it is to make new friends as a “grown woman?” Well, for me it seems impossible. I guess I have made a few…but none that I can be as close as I’d hoped I could be with. See, I’m a best friend kind of girl. I like to have one friend that is like a sister to me…and lately, finding that has been impossible. What does this mean? This means that when I’m going through something, I have no one to talk to. When I’m interested in trying something new, I have no one to do that with. When I have an issue that I need advice on, I have no one to ask….no one that I trust. As much as I’d love to say the opposite, we just all need friends.

Problem 3. Two years ago I was in LOVE. Head over heels OMG YOU ARE PERFECT love….with someone who was not in love with me….at least not in any way that was tangible. I had to move away from the person I loved and what did he do but get back with an old girl. Well….this left me bitter….worse than bitter…broken, insecure, distrustful, angry, sad….you name it, I felt it. I still do. Not only do I make a conscious decision to not insert myself in his life on a daily basis, but I’ve also consciously pushed other men away, and made them pay (by being too guarded) for the baggage he left me with. My love life is currently hopeless, and every time I start to think there is hope with someone, it ends before it starts because I didn’t put out quick enough ( woah, sorry…didn’t know a week was too long to tolerate just my personality lol). The men I talk to seem to think I owe them sex after a few brief conversations…no can do, buddy.

These are my issues…and yes, in the grand scheme of things, they are minor…but really, what makes your average person happy besides having a good job, being surrounded by loving friends, and building a relationship with the love of your life? I’d say not much. I am overwhelmingly underwhelmed with my current situation. And this blog WILL NOT be about my journey to happiness (although it may be about my failed attempts at happiness) …it will just be about me and these major issues in my life which I believe are major focus point in the lives of many. I encourage you to join me on this unknown journey, and comment, and think, and give me something to think about! Lets talk, lets share ideas! 🙂